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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30016716">jealousy (turning saints into the sea)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadpoetsam/pseuds/deadpoetsam'>deadpoetsam</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Leatin Tumblr prompts [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Wilds (TV 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5 days after running into the water, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Goodfoe, Jealous Leah, Mention of Suicide Attempt, Oblivious Fatin, On the Island - Freeform, One Shot, Swearing, leah never finds Nora, leatin, no shark attack</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:02:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,009</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30016716</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadpoetsam/pseuds/deadpoetsam</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>She wasn't dark again, she was seeing green instead.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Or, Fatin is oversharing about her sex life as per usual, but this time it's about a girl and Leah gets jealous.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Fatin Jadmani/Leah Rilke, Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Leatin Tumblr prompts [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2212962</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>183</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>jealousy (turning saints into the sea)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>"God, I'm jealous of you two."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fatin is yet again complaining about Toni and Shelby. The four of them are sitting around the fire, having already finished their tasks. Leah has her head on Fatin's lap, and Toni is sitting in Shelby's lap. Leah smiles, Fatin never lets a moment pass without mentioning her lack of orgasms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"And you refuse to give me any details," She continues, a pout on her face. A very cute pout.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Why the fuck would you want details?" Toni says. Valid point, why does Fatin want them? Leah stares up at Fatin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Just let me live vicariously through you," Fatin says, waving with her hands, emphasizing her point.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Thought you were straight?" Shelby says, looking puzzled. Leah laughs, but still stares at Fatin. This conversation was suddenly getting interesting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fatin lets out a loud sigh, "I thought all my flirting with Dorothy would have made it obvious, but I swing both ways."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah gasps loudly, mouth hanging open. Fatin likes girls? Okay, maybe she stood a chance. A small one at that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Leah, just because Shelby can't hate crime me anymore doesn't mean you have to," Fatin says, staring back into her eyes. Leah blushes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No- no- it's not that- just-" She stammers. She wishes the earth would magically swallow her at this point.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Relax, Leah, I've heard all the rumours about you at school."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Somehow, that's even worse. She's convinced her face currently resembles a tomato.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What do you mean?" Shelby asks, her hand softly threading through Toni's curls.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Nothing!" Leah says quickly, putting her hand over Fatin's mouth before she can say anything. Fatin just laughs and pushes her hand aside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Leah once got caught making out with a girl in the bathroom at school, she was the talk of the school," Fatin says, laughing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Fatin," Leah whines, shuttering at the awkwardness of the memory.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Wait! You're also into girls? Is this island just filled with gays?" Shelby says, eyes wide.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Toni doubles over laughing, "You didn't know Leah was into girls?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"How the hell did you know?" Leah says, genuinely confused.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Leah, you showed up with cuffed pants, obviously she knew," Fatin says. Toni laughs even louder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Okay, fair point.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Okay, but I would love to get back to the topic of you being bi," Leah says, anything to get the attention off of her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Okay, first of all, I really don't care about gender and stuff, a good fuck is a good fuck. But there once was this like, really hot girl. Short brown hair, tattoos and piercings. And she started flirting with me, which I definitely wasn't complaining about. So then we went to the bathroom and she-"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No details please!" Shelby almost yells. Toni snorts. Leah is clenching her fist. The thought of Fatin fucking a girl somehow is different than the thought of her fucking a guy. Both hurt, but this definitely hurts more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So yeah, we did that a few more times," Fatin says, smiling. It's a soft smile as if she's reminiscing. And Leah knows she doesn't have the right to be jealous. They're not even together, Fatin doesn't even know she has feelings for her. But God, she wants to punch a wall.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Sorry but I'm going to pee," Leah says, getting up and walking away. Fatin looks confused and concerned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah's brain is filled with anger. She wished she could remove this whole conversation from her brain. She's walking quickly through the trees, but eventually becomes tired and sits down against a larger tree, knees pressed to her chest. The twinge of jealousy shoots through her every time she thinks of what Fatin just said. Her fist clenches and she leans back against the tree.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soft footsteps hit the ground just a few feet away. She knows it's Fatin, but stays quiet. Fatin doesn't say anything either, just sits down next to her, probably assuming she randomly got dark again. She wasn't dark again, she was seeing green instead. Fatin grabs her hand and intertwines their fingers. A friendly gesture, but even when she had been annoyed just mere seconds ago, Leah couldn't help but feel sparks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They sit there for what feels like hours, but it couldn’t have been more than 10 minutes. The green waves have almost subsided, the sea in her head slowly becoming blue again. Their hands are still linked, like an anchor keeping her from fading away. She needs to let go of the link, she can’t stand the burning feeling the touch gives her, the way Fatin can still calm her down even though it was her fault to begin with. Fatin didn’t even know what the problem was. She just somehow knew what to do. It was infuriating. The way she feels around Fatin is nothing compared to Jeff Galanis, the burning building. The connection between her and Fatin was more like a fort, strong, sturdy and safe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It takes everything in her to let go of Fatin’s hand. Leah doesn’t look at her, not wanting to see the worry in her eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should go back,” Her voice comes out broken and she hates it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah finally turns to look into Fatin’s eyes, and god that was a bad decision. The amount of worry and pain in her beautiful brown eyes makes her heartache, her chest constrict. She wants to turn away again, Fatin grabs her upper arm, making her keep the painful eye contact. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Leah, I’m not going to leave you alone when you obviously are obsessing over the island,” Fatin's voice is desperate. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Those words broke Leah’s heart in little pieces. She was wallowing in painfully obvious jealousy, and Fatin still believed she was thinking about the island. Anger flared up in her chest, red taking over the little green that was left. Anything to hide the blue. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fatin, just- Just don’t okay? I can take care of myself just fine,” She says coldly, pushing Fatin’s hand away. She gets up and starts walking. Where to, she has no idea. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh really?” Fatin’s voice is high pitched and loud, “You can fucking take care of yourself? Seriously? Rachel dragged your ass out the water not five days ago, but you don’t need help?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> The words pierce through Leah like a knife, she stops walking, still not turning around. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What would have happened if Rachel hadn’t been there? Ever fucking thought about that?” Fatin’s voice breaks, and she sounds like she’s crying, “Your fucking obsession with this island has almost killed you once, I’m not fucking letting that happen again!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s what makes her turn around, looking right into brown eyes filled with pain, “Ever thought that maybe it’s not about the fucking island!” She basically yells. Confusion spreads across Fatin’s face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t even thought about the island for days, not since I ran into the water. I’m not some fucking fragile thing!” Okay maybe the word vomit coming out of her is a really bad idea, but she can’t stop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not what I’m saying! Also, if it isn’t the island, what the fuck is it? Jeffrey again? Really?” Fatin yells back, hands clenched at her sides. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The red and blue she sees mix together, ‘till all she sees is some fucked up form of purple. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you fucking blind!” The words come out of her before thinks about the weight behind them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fatin’s face twists from anger into hurt and confusion. She remembers the time when she told Martha that love is “Misery, doubt and a shit ton of self-loathing”. She started believing that maybe love was better than that when she started falling for Fatin, but now the reality came back again. This wasn’t a fucking fairy-tale. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck are you talking about?” Fatin says, clearly still confused. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m saying, that maybe it’s you,” Those words should have never left her mouth, they should have stayed hidden in the far parts of her brain, but she’s lost all control. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The hurt on Fatin’s face makes Leah want to run up to her and hug her, hold her and tell her she didn’t mean it that way. But she can’t. She’s in too deep to stop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Fatin’s voice is broken, tears are in her eyes. If she thought that any earlier part of this trainwreck of a conversation had hurt, this hurt ten times more. She feels like throwing up. The purple becomes dark blue. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fatin, I-” she swallows, “I don’t know how fucking obvious you want me to make it. I fucking walked away when you were talking-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fatin interrupts, “If you didn’t want me around, you could have fucking said something,” her shoulders are tense, a tear rolls over her cheek, “Clearly I misread, all this,” she says, waving between her and Leah with her hand. Leah ignores the possible meaning behind “this” and focuses on putting this right. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, Fatin! That’s not-” She tries to find the words, but her brain is all warped and messy, “You were talking about fucking a girl and I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fatin interrupts again, “Oh, yeah, I get it. You don’t want a fucking slut around, since it’s the entirety of my personality, right?” Her fists are clenched and there’s a grimace on her face, “You’ve made your point,” She looks into Leah’s eyes, then turns around and starts walking away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her heart shatters into a million little pieces and her brain can only focus on one thought. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fatin! For fuck’s sake, I’m in love with you!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was possibly the worst moment she could have said that, but the words are out. Floating around in the air. Fatin stops dead in her tracks but doesn’t turn around. Leah’s whole body hurts, she feels like she’ll break if Fatin leaves. She stares at the ground, hoping the words she needs to say will just show up on the forest floor. They don’t, so Leah improvises. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was fucking jealous, okay? I’ve fucking fallen for you and I know you don’t feel the same way, but I don’t hate you, if anything, I need you around. Please, I-'' </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Footsteps, and then lips on hers. For a moment, Leah freezes, but then she kisses back with equal ferocity. Fireworks don’t remotely resemble the chaos of emotion Leah feels the moment their lips meet. It’s a bruising kiss, Fatin’s hand pulls at her hair and her other hand grips her jaw. Leah’s hands are gripping Fatin’s waist like she’ll slip through her fingers if she doesn’t hold her tight enough. So many thoughts spinning through her head. They are like two flames, swallowing all the oxygen until they eventually die out, becoming calm again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fatin pulls away, still standing on her tippy toes. Her brown eyes lack the flames they had before. There are tears in them and Leah moves her hands to wipe them away, cupping Fatin’s face. Fatin looks so soft, yet so fragile. The moment makes her heart burst. She pulls her closer, hugging her. She kisses her head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jesus, we need to work on our communication skills,” Fatin murmurs in her sweater. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leah laughs, “True.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll start,” Fatin says, looking up into her eyes, “Leah Rilke, I have feelings for you. I didn’t expect it, but I do. And that should probably count for something because I don’t do feelings. So please don’t be jealous?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Those words make her feel warm. She truly hadn’t expected Fatin to turn around, let alone kiss her. And now she was telling her that she has feelings for her. She felt light like she was floating. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She kisses Fatin’s forehead, “I’ll try. So, now it’s my turn. Fatin Jadmani, I’ve already screamed at you that I’m in love with you,” she bites her lip, looking down into reassuring brown eyes, “You saved my life, in more ways than one, and I definitely need you, despite my earlier claims.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fatin smiles, leans in to kiss her again. This kiss is softer, warmth spreads through Leah’s body. This felt like home. All she sees is yellow. </span>
</p>
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